Un cri du coeur
by Totally Average
Summary: L takes time out of his busy schedule to think about his childhood. Oneshot. No pairings. T because I'm paranoid.


Un cri du coeur

(A cry from the heart)

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

Beta'd by: darkangel1194

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L remembered his childhood. It had been a happy time in his life. He'd had nice parents and a great school. Even back then he had been odd and abnormally intelligent. His parents didn't seem to notice his quirks. How he always sat in a crouched position, and his sweets obsession. Instead, they would praise him for his cleverness. He lived in a good neighborhood, and everyone was friendly to him.

Despite this, he never had any real friends. He spoke to people, yes, but mostly preferred to be alone. He was solitary by nature and didn't like anyone enough to be in their presence for very long. The kids his age and younger had trouble understanding when he spoke to them, and anyone older treated him as if he were as simpleminded as the rest of them.

He was not stupid. He knew about the things they spoke of when they thought he wasn't around. Crime, politics, business, he knew about them, but he thought they were unimportant. His world was happy, free of strife, and unaffected by these things. These were the thoughts of an innocent child. They were trusting, naïve, and, for the most part, oblivious. When his father was laid off from his job, L knew it would be alright. He held the childish belief that everything would be fine as long as he was a good boy for his mother. It seemed he was right when Uncle Albert, a good friend of the family, put in a good word at the company where he was employed and Mr. Lawliet was hired. It had a lower pay than his old job, but it was better than nothing.

Six months after L's father was hired, Uncle Albert invited them all to go on a trip to the local amusement park. That was the day that the trusting obliviousness began to be torn away, revealing to L all the horrible truths that existed.

He had been eating his ice cream while the adults sat and talked nearby. The conversation steered toward work, and the two men grew increasingly upset. Fearing an argument, Mrs. Lawliet took L away to ride one of the smaller roller coasters. When they came back, neither man was speaking to the other. Upon sighting the approaching two, they smiled and acted friendly, but L knew that the argument was not resolved. At the time, he believed it to be something petty and that the adults would work it out eventually.

That night, just after L was put to bed, someone knocked on the front door. He snuck out of his room to see who it was. He saw his mother talking to the police. He could clearly hear their conversation from his hiding place. Uncle Albert had been killed. L was shocked at this news. They had seen him only a few hours before. How could he be dead?

The police asked to speak to Mr. Lawliet. L's mother went to fetch him, but when the questions were over, they arrested him on the charge of murder. L didn't want to believe it. How could his father do such a thing? But the evidence was overwhelming. At the advice of his lawyer, L's father pled guilty and gave a full confession.

Uncle Albert was the one who went over the records at the company where they worked. Over the six months that Mr. Lawliet had been employed, their profit had been much lower than it should have been. He had been stealing money. Uncle Albert was the first to notice and warned him to stop. L's father ignored him and continued to steal. He was told multiple times to stop. The day at the amusement park Uncle Albert gave him an ultimatum. Stop stealing or he would contact the authorities. Mr. Lawliet could not keep his current lifestyle without the extra money and saw only one way out of his situation. He would get rid of Uncle Albert. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't very good at hiding his crime. He was sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole.

This event is what gave the young L the knowledge that anyone was capable of a crime, and he became suspicious of everyone. When all the court proceedings finally ended, L and his mother tried to return to a semblance of normalcy. Mrs. Lawliet found a job, and L returned to school.

News spread quickly in their small town, and everyone knew about what had happened. People began treating him differently. They said that he would turn out just like his father. The younger kids feared him and the adults treated him like a delinquent. Some of the older kids began to bully him, saying that the spawn of a murderer deserved such treatment. This went on for many weeks and caused him to become paranoid and distrustful. It seemed like everyone was out to get him.

One day when he arrived home, he heard his mother sobbing on the phone. She was telling her mother about the events that had transpired the past several months. She had been having trouble with the townspeople as well. As more and more time passed, Mrs. Lawliet sank into a depression. She would never be with her husband again and all of her supposed friends had deserted her. Her deep sadness got worse and worse. It seemed like she would never be happy again.

A few weeks before his seventh birthday, L woke up to a silent house. There was always some sort of noise in the mornings: the TV blaring, breakfast cooking, or his mother getting ready for work. L wandered the house, searching for his mother. She was sleeping in her bedroom. He didn't want to wake her, but he couldn't cook breakfast on his own.

He climbed up the bed and sat next to his mother's still form. Something was off. L shook her shoulders, but she remained limp. "Mommy," he shook her harder, but she still did not wake. Was she breathing? He couldn't tell. He checked her pulse. His eyes grew wide, and he leaped off the bed with a yelp, running for the telephone.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Mommy needs an ambulance! Her heart isn't beating!"

The paramedics did all that they could, but nothing worked. The autopsy results came back as an overdose of sleeping pills. From the amount in her system, it was ruled a suicide. There was no note.

With his mother dead, his father in jail, and no one willing to take him in L was left all alone in the world. His young heart became cold. He no longer allowed himself to become attached to people. The pain wasn't worth it in the long run.

He was sent to an orphanage. The children there treated him no better than the ones at school. The only difference being that they treated him badly, not for his family, but for his mannerisms. He tried to avoid them and spent his time increasing his knowledge in the library.

One year after he arrived, an elderly man called Quillsh Wammy moved him to a new orphanage for gifted children located in Winchester, England. Even though Mr. Wammy was quite friendly, L kept his distance. He didn't allow any fondness he felt to grow.

Over time, Mr. Wammy noticed his love of solving riddles and puzzles. By the time he was fourteen, L had solved his first case. After he made a name for himself he only took the interesting ones, the cases with more than ten victims or a million dollars at stake. These cases were often gruesome, and he became more skilled at hiding his emotions away. If he allowed something like emotions to rule him, he would face absolute ruin.

In this way he kept himself busy for many years. Now, at twenty-three years old, he gave himself a moment of reprieve. A few minutes between cases to feel sadness for what his life had become: a lonely existence with the solving of never ending riddles. He let himself feel the melancholy, and he mourned for the innocent child he used to be.

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A/N: Thanks to my awesome Beta for coming up with the title and looking over this. I know I should be writing the next chapter for a New Shinigami, but this wouldn't leave me alone.

Okay, most, if not all, of you should know what is going on in Japan right now. The earthquake, tsunami, and radiation stuff. If any of you pray, then they definitely need the prayers and any other help they can get. Lots of people have died over there. Help them out if you can.


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